Most of us were never actually taught about sex.

We were taught what not to do.
What to be afraid of.
What to suppress, hide, or feel ashamed of.

For many people, sex education stopped at biology—or never really began at all. Desire was framed as dangerous. Pleasure was conditional. Curiosity was something to grow out of, control, or punish.

And yet—desire doesn’t disappear just because it was never welcomed.

It waits.
It simmers.
It leaks out as longing, frustration, confusion, shame…or a quiet hunger you don’t quite know how to name.

For most adults, the real work around sex isn’t about techniques or positions or “spicing things up.”

It’s about unlearning shame and reclaiming the right to feel alive in your body.

Sexual Shame Isn’t Your Fault — It’s Inherited

Sexual shame isn’t something most people consciously choose.

It’s something they absorb.

From families.
From religion.
From media.
From silence.
From being told explicitly or implicitly that desire is dangerous, dirty, or too much.

And here’s the thing: shame doesn’t dissolve because you tell yourself to “just get over it.”
It softens when the nervous system experiences permission, normalization, and accurate information.

Learning can be radical.

Not because information alone heals everything, but because learning sends a powerful message to the body:

You’re not broken.
You’re not weird.
Your desire makes sense.

For many people, this is the first time they begin to feel at home in themselves.

Why Sex Education Is a Subversive Gift

When we think about gifts, we usually think about objects.

But some gifts aren’t meant to be unwrapped once.
They’re meant to open something.

High-quality sex education is one of those gifts.

Not because it promises transformation.
Not because it guarantees mind-blowing sex.

But because it offers:

• Language for things you’ve always felt but never had words for
• A wider map of what’s possible beyond scripts and stereotypes
• Permission to learn pleasure instead of performing it
• A private, self-paced way to explore without being watched, judged, or evaluated

This is why I don’t think of sex education as “fixing a problem.”

I think of it as rewilding curiosity.

A Sex Education Platform I Genuinely Love: Beducated

There’s no shortage of sex-positive content online, but not all of it is grounded, thoughtful, or actually supportive.

One platform I genuinely love is Beducated (affiliate link — details below).

Beducated is an online sex education platform with in-depth courses on:

• Sexual anatomy and pleasure
• Desire, arousal, and libido
• Communication and intimacy
• Kink, consent, and power dynamics
• Emotional safety and connection

What sets it apart is the tone.

It’s:

• Pleasure-positive without being performative
• Educational without being clinical
• Curious without being prescriptive

It doesn’t tell you who to be or how you should want.
It invites exploration.

It’s not therapy.
It’s not a shortcut.

It’s a library—one you can explore privately, on your own terms, at your own pace.

For many people, that alone is profoundly disarminG and deeply relieving.

Why This Makes a Powerful (and Intimate) Christmas Gift

Giving something like this isn’t about saying, “You need to change.”

It’s about saying:

Your pleasure matters.
Your curiosity is welcome.
You’re allowed to learn what turns you on and what helps you feel safe.

Whether this is a gift for a partner—or for yourself—it can be a way of opening a door without pressure.

No expectations.
No performance.
No timelines.

Just permission.

Explore at Your Own Pace

Sexuality unfolds differently for everyone.

Some people crave structure.
Some crave play.
Some want reassurance.
Some want language for something they’ve always felt but never claimed.

Whatever your pace, the most important thing is this: you stay in choice.

Take what resonates.
Leave what doesn’t.
Let curiosity be led by safety—not urgency.

If this season of your life is inviting more softness, more aliveness, or more self-trust, education can be a powerful place to begin.

And more than that—I hope you allow yourself the joy of discovering what excites you, what feels electric, and what brings genuine pleasure. That kind of discovery isn’t indulgent or selfish.

It’s deeply human.
It’s part of remembering who you are.

Wherever you are on that path, I’m genuinely excited for you. There is so much possibility waiting on the other side of curiosity.

Learn More About Beducated

If you’re curious to explore Beducated, you can learn more here:
Explore BeducatED

In liberation and desire,
Forest Benedict
Sex & Desire Coach | Rewilding Desire

For more writing on sexuality, shame, desire, power, self-connection, religious deconditioning, and embodied liberation, explore the blog and follow along for future posts.